Grief
and Loss Reading List
WARNING! this reading list is highly personal and
idiosyncratic
General
The Courage to Grieve. Judy Tatelbaum. Harper & Row. New York. 1980 Good to read later, when you are trying to come to some closure. .
Life After Loss. Bob Deits. Basic loss, includes divorce, job loss etc. Very practical, easy to read, lots of helpful tips, very affirming.
Living Through Personal Crisis. Ann Kaiser Stearns. Ballantine Books. New York, 1990. Very comprehensive look at what can be expected - covers a wide array of topics - unfortunately, uses "loss" and never says "died"!
Necessary Losses. Judith Viorst. Fawcett Gold Medal. New York. 1986. Excellent! A "must read" book for everyone. A mature and insightful writer who gently puts some of life’s tragedies in perspective.
Helping People Through Grief. Delores Kuenning. Bethany House. Minneapolois, MN. 1987. A guide to all kinds of loss - miscarriage, handicaps, murder, adoption, cancer, suicide, etc., with lots of further reading & referral information.
How We Die. Sherwin B. Nuland. Vintage Books. New York.
1995 .National award winner - not for the faintof heart. Tells about dying like
it is, frank & graphic but very truthful.
Dying:A Book
of Comfort. Healing Words on Loss and Grief. Ed by Pat McNees. Warner
Books. New York. 1996. Absolutely the best collection yet. " a gem to be
treasured" says Rabbi Earl Grollman.
The Next
Place.
Warren Hanson. Waldman House Press Inc. 1997. This is a beautiful book,
visually powerful and with a thoughtful message. The illustrations are simply
lovely, the message timeless and it would be a precious gift to those who are
coping with death and dying.
Trauma and
Recovery:The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Judith Herman, M.D. Basic
Books. New York, NY. 1997. While not new, I have just read this book and regret
not having done so before. It is thorough, intelligent, and compelling in its
accurate description of just what is trauma? A must read for those dealing with
and those helping in the aftermath of trauma.
Good Grief
Rituals: Tools for Healing. Elaine Childs-Gowell. Station Hill Press. Barrytown, NY. 1992
Excellent resource - don't know what to do? this will spark your own
creativity.
Grief’s Courageous Journey - A Workbook. Sandi Caplan & Gordon Lang. New Harbor Publications, Inc. Oakland, CA. 1995. Step by Step personal journey using several helpful tools to process your grief.
When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Harold Kushner
Who Needs God. Harold Kushner. Pocket Books, Simon & Schuster.
New York, N.Y. 1989. Recommended reading - a personal account of how to begin
to make sense of it all and WHY?
How to Survive the Loss of a Love. Melba Colgrove, Harold Bloomfield, & Peter Mc Williams. Prelude Press. Los Angeles, CA. 1991. Different! Full of upbeat writing, exercises, affirmations and poetry. There is a companion workbook which is great. All kinds of loss, not just death.
Man’s Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl. 1986 (?) Classic, full of wisdom & timeless. His observations of men in the concentration camps & how they coped with suffering and death. He developed his theory (called Logotherapy) from these observations.
Earl Grollman has written extensively on grief. Look for his books
everywhere.
Men and Grief
Grief Quest. Robert J. Miller.Abbey Press, St. Meinrad, IN. 1996 Written by Catholic priest/therapist and a Ukranian deacon, this is a rare find for grieving men,. YES! men & women do, generally, grieve "differently".
When Men
Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help. Elizabeth Levang. Fairview
Press. Minneapolis, MN. 1998 An excellent resource for men & women
alike as men are sometimes a puzzle to us women, especially in matters of the
heart! The book is powerful and some of the men's honest revelations made me
cry.
Parents Death
How to Survive the Loss of a Parent. Lois F. Akner. William Morrow & Co. Inc. New York. 1992. Very good...written as a group process of grief work in this difficult and sometimes ambiguous area.
A Letter of Consolation. (236.1 library) Henri Nouwen. Harper & Row. San Francisco. 1982. Spiritual & moving. Full of wisdom and love - spiritual viewpoint.
From Beginning to End: The rituals of our lives. Robert Fulghum. Ivy Books. New York. 1995. Just the last bit is on death but full of wonderful ideas for ritual celebrations and worth the read.
Motherless Daughters. (and Letters to Motherless Daughters) Hope Edelman. Delta, New York. 1994. (also on audiobooks). Most of us women will find ourselves on these pages sooner or later...
Children’s
Death
Helping Bereaved Children. Nancy Boyd Webb, Ed. The Guilford Press. New York.1993. Using case histories to describe several losses (divorce, sibling, etc.) and expected reactions. Not light reading.
Bereaved Children & Teens. (155.937 library) Earl
A. Grollman, Ed. Beacon Press. Boston. 1995. Excellent resource book for
parents as well as professionals. Wide range of topics, covers school issues,
too.
New Fields and Other Stones: On a
Child's Death. Saul Bennett. Archer books, Santa Maria, CA.
1998. a collection of powerful poems by a bereaved parent, wrought from his
sorrow and journey to find meaning...
LIFE & LOSS: A Guide to Help Grieving Children. Linda Goldman. 2nd Edition. Accelerated
Development, 1900 Frost Rd. Suite 101, Bristol PA 19007-1598 Call
1 800 821 8312 and
Breaking the Silence: A guide to help children with Complicated Grief:
Suicide, Homicide, AIDS, Violence and Abuse. Linda Goldman
How to Survive the Loss of a Child. Katherine Sanders.Prima Publishing. Rocklin, CA. 1992. Well written, easy to read, written by a bereaved parent & professional death educator.
The Kid’s Book about Death and Dying. Eric E. Rofes. Little Brown and Company, Boston, 1985. Observations by kids (11-14) about their thoughts, feeling and behavior around the issues of death and dying. Useful for parents to read as a way to talk to their children about loss. Also useful for mature kids.
Recovering From the Loss of a Child. Katherine Fair Donnelly. Berkley Books, New York. 1994. Hopeful account as it takes the reader 10 years on to look at surviving families.
The Bereaved Parent. Harriet Sarnoff Schiff. Penguin Books. New York, N.Y. 1986. Moving and practical help not just for loss of a child but in recovering from grief in every aspect of your life that it touches.
Gentle Closings. Ted Menten. Running Press. Philadelphia, PA. 1991. (any book by Ted) Delightful - full of gentle humor and wonderful sharings of terminal children.
Post Abortion
Healing
Men and Abortion: a Path to
Healing. C.T. Coyle, Ph.
D. Life Cycle Books. 1999. 1 800 2... orders@lifecyclebooks.com It may
come as a surprise but men hurt from abortion, too! This well researched and
seminal book deserves a wide audience...
Mother of Mercy and of Love. Therese Marie Green. Winepress Publishing.
Mukilteo, Wa. 1998. A most loving and healing book of personal testimonies of
God's love. Every paragraph speaks to our woundedness and offers hope and
healing. Inspired! 1 800 917 BOOK If you have a spritual wound get this
book now.
The Mourning After. Terry Selby. Baker Book House. Grand Rapids. Michigan. 1990. Written by a social worker about his work with post-abortion syndrome. Helpful, practical, non-judgmental.
Forbidden Grief. Theresa Burke
Professional
Clinical
Dimensions of Anticipatory Mourning: Theory and Practice in Working with the
Dying, Their Loved Ones and Their Caretakers. Ed.Therese Rando. Research
Press, IL. 2000. Like the title, this book is thorough, professional and
comprehensive. Rando writes with her trademark completeness including an
interesting chapter on traumatic stress and grief. Contributions by other
notable authors cover a wide range of experiences. This book would be valuable
to family and caregivers as well as professionals especially the section on
case examples.
Grief Comes
to Class: An Educator's Guide. Majel Gliko-Braden. Centering Corporation. Omaha, NE.
1992. This is a very useful book especially in this unfortunate day and age of
school tragedies. It is clear, direct and of value to teachers and parents
coping with grief at school.
How to go on Living When Someone You Love Dies. Therese Rando. Bantam Books. New York. 1991. best writer on subject of grief, comprehensive and practical. but gentle.
Living Beyond Loss. Froma Walsh & Monica Mc Goldrick, Eds. W.W. Norton & Company. New York. 1991. Not for general reading, and I found it a bit disappointing.
The Many Faces of Bereavement. Ginny Sprang & John
Mc Neil. Brunner/Mazel. New York. 1995. Fairly technical. Looks at different
types of death (suicide, murder, etc.) and what responses can be expected.
Adaptations to Loss through short term group therapy. William Piper, Mary McCallum, & Hassan Azim. The Guilford Press. New York. 1992. Rather clinical, for professionals
Families & Forgiveness. Terry D. Hargrave. Bruner/Mazel Inc. New York. 1994. Professional approach but full of very good new work on this highly charged issue. Good reading if this is your issue.
Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy. J. William Worden. Springer. New York. 1991. Classic. Worden is the guru of grief but I really don’t like this one. Too much psychopathology but most people’s grief isn’t.
Widowed
Widowhood The Death of a Wife: Reflections for a Grieving Husband. Robert L. Vogt. ACTA Publications. 1996. Poems and reflections of one widower’s journey to healing.
A Grief Observed. C. S. Lewis. Harper & Row. New York, N.Y. 1989. Honestly questioning and very human account of his wife’s illness & death.
Going Solo. Ted Menten (see Gentle Closings under "children")
Being a Widow & Widow. Lynne Caine Penguin Books, New York.1974, 1988 Excellent!
Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies. Marta Felber. by LifeWords, PO Box 1299, West Fork, AR 72774
or 1 800 798 0100 ... a workbook and great resource. Very well done.
Fiction
Driving with Dead People. Monica Holloway
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Death Be Not Proud
Brian’s Song
Mick Harte Was Here. 12 year old sister trying to make sense of her brother’s death.
Grass Dancer. Susan Howard. Native American woman’s story full of ghosts.
Your Blues Aint Like Mine. Beebe Moore Campbell. African American relationship story.
Dream of Water. Kyoko Mori. Japanese-American trying to cope with death & dying.
Road Song. Natalie Kurz. Painful but triumphant life journey set in Alaska. Beautiful imagery
Videos
Available from many local Libraries:
Grief & Loss videos: Children Die Too;
Coping with the Death of a Spouse; This Healing Journey (siblings); To Touch a
Grieving Heart (general)
(Worth rewatching even if you’ve seen them already...you will have a
different "take").
Truly, Madly, Deeply
Magazines
Bereavement Magazine. $29.00 monthly. Bereavement Publishing Inc., 8133 Telegraph Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, Tel: 719 282 1850 E-Mail; grief@usa.net Very good general overview. Useful to professionals and general public alike. Contains wide cross section of losses and expert help.
Cancer & other Life Threatening
Diseases (very personal list!)
Information from The Memorial Society of Maryland, 9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda MD 20814 ( 800 564 0017 )
American Cancer Society: Look Good , Feel Better.
General Other
Living Beyond Limits: New Hope & Help for Facing Life-Threatening Illness. David Speigel, M.D. Times Books. New York. 1993. TERRIFIC! Intelligent, informative, readable and truly helpful.
Heart of Healing. Institiute of Noetic Sciences with William Poole. Turner Publishing, Inc. Atlanta. 1993. Comprehensive companiom guide to the TV series, which I did not see & regret missing. Covers all sorts of alternative therapies and interesting history but is bang up to date on current state of life-threatening illness.
A Cancer Battle Plan. Ann Frahm with David Frahm. Pinon Press. Colorado Springs. Colorado. 1992. Nutritional approach with morale boosters.
How We Die. Sherwin Nuland. Vintage Books. New York. 1993. Award winning graphic account of the dying process. Not for the faint of heart but very truthful.
A Grief Observed. C.S. Lewis. Harper & Row. San
Francisco. 1989. A moving and honest account of his wife’s illness &
subsequent death.
I Don’t Know What to Say. Robert Buckman. Key Porter Books. Toronto, Canada.1988. This is the book you’ve been looking for!
Dealing Creatively with Death. Ernest Morgan. Barclay House. 1994
Clock of Ages. John Medina. Cambridge University Press. Going the Distance. George Sheehan. Villard Books. NY
Healing Mind, Healthy Woman: Using the Mind-Body Connection to Manage Stress and Take Control of Your Life. Alice Domar & Henry Dreher. Henry Holt & Co. New York. 1996.
It’s Not All in Your Head: Now Women Can Discover the Real Causes of Their Most Commonly Misdiagnosed Health Problems. Susan Swedo & Henrietta Leonard. Harper San Francisco. New York. 1996
Mind/Body Health - The Effects of Attitudes, Emotions, & Relationships. Brent Hafen, Keith Karren, Kathryn Frandsen, N.Lee Smith. 1996. Thorough explanation of the mind-body connection & what influences an individual to resist illness.
The Best Treatment and Symptoms. Isadore Rosenfeld, M. D. Warner Books. 1996. 50 common health problems & specific food recommendations.
First You Cry. Betty Rollin. J. B. Lipincott. Philadelphia & New York. 1976.Out of date medical stuff but still tells it like it is from a personal point of view about her breast cancer.
The Non-Chew Cookbook. J.Randy Wilson. Colorado, 1997 (?) Written by spouse of woman who had jaw problems & couldn't chew for six months...check it out on his webpage... Non-Chew Cookbook
I hope this list is
helpful. Please let me know what resources YOU have found to be helpful.
Mailto: celiaryan@griefworks.com