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this page copyright of www.GriefWorks.com LossLines II Disclaimer: The information given here is not intended to be a substitute for professional help. Please consult the appropriate health professional if you are struggling with issues of grief and loss. Completing Your Personal Lossline.. LossLine III: secondary losses? Have you ever thought about all the many losses that you have survived in your lifetime? Probably not... we tend to focus on our gains, our successes, and to feel a little ashamed about the things that went wrong or didn't work out. If you were to take a moment now, with paper and pencil, to list all of the losses of your life that come to mind, what would be on your list? There will be some items that are obvious, like your parents divorce when you were 14, or you had several months in the hospital as a child with a chronic illness, or you had abusive parents or other adults. Other items may be less directly traumatic, but quite significant, nonetheless. Were you a "poor" student in the past, yet have come to realize that you had an undiagnosed learning disability? Did your family move when you were just beginning to get a "sense" of yourself? Did a new brother or sister come into your family when you were particularly vulnerable? Here is a sample list of a 52 year old male:
There are losses on this list that the man describes as happy, energizing, exciting, yet they still involved loss. Who thinks of the loss in going to college, getting married, having children...? Yet there are many primary and even more secondary losses in all of our life transitions. Take a minute now to list your life losses. You will probably think of quite a few more during the coming days if you do this exercise now! Next time: What are secondary losses? email your comments, suggestions to: celiaryan@griefworks.com |
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